Woman Admits Infidelity to Friend, Friend Runs to Husband and Spills the Beans, Risking Woman’s Spouse Finding Out

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Jun 22, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

In friendships, loyalty is one of the most vital qualities. So, how would you respond if you learned that your childhood friend had been having an extramarital affair for the past six months?

The story below is an account of a frustrated friend. The original poster (OP) recently learned about her childhood best friend's adulterous affair. She told her husband about the problem as soon as she found out, and they discussed the best course of action moving forward. They gave it some thought and concluded that telling the husband about his wife's adultery would be the wisest course of action. But making the right decision isn't always easy. Chaos ensued when OP informed her friend that she would be disclosing the infidelity to the spouse.

Having said that, if you're interested in learning more about the specifics of what happened after OP found out about the affair, make sure to read the story below! When you're done, don't forget to read about the woman who chose to cancel her family vacation after her sister assigned her the duty of cross-continental babysitter!

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  • 01
    The person she is having an affair with has lunch with her locally sometimes while she is on lunch break from work, they have run into acquaintances multiple times. He comes for family dinner twice a week. The kids have caught Anna sitting on his lap before while Darren is not home. He comes over when Darren is on nightshift, while the kids are in the home. Anna has apparently been able to cover up by telling the kids she does his in ions and that it's private, so she administered
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA My friend is having an affair, we plan to tell her husband.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 03
    I've known Anna (F38) since we were in highschool, we are part of a group of five. Now we hang out as families for christmas, birthdays, Easter, etc. It has been like this for over ten years. My partner Greg (M39) is good friends with Anna's husband Darren (M39). Anna recently told me she is having an affair with one of their family friends, who is also Darren's sisters ex partner.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 04
    At the time, I remained non judgemental and supportive. Once the information set in and I realised how disloyal and gross the whole situation is, my sense of justice and moral compass came into play. Darren is a good man, Anna says he is a wonderful father and husband but she just doesn't feel the connection with him anymore despite faking it the last 6 months to keep her secret under wraps.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 05
    I knew keeping this from Greg may backfire on me, if he found out I also hid the secret, so I told him. He is shattered for his mate, and it is eating at him. I've told Anna that Greg knows. She's pi ed at me for the betrayal, expecting me to take it to my grave. She knows they're catching up soon and Greg plans to tell him. Anna has not asked for a seperation because they have an overseas trip coming up in October. She has told me
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 06
    financially that she can't leave. Keeping in mind, she regularly gets expensive treatments like botox and taking rds to have her look her best. We want to tell Darren about her affair in 2 weeks, will we be the a les? Side note- some have asked why we are waiting. Greg works away, he is home in 2 weeks (closer to 1.5 weeks now) but feels like due to the nature of the conversation, it should be in person. He knows Darren
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 07
    will be very upset, possibly angry and wants to be here to support him in those initial moments. I feel like I should also mention there are kids involved. Do we tell him via text sooner? SMALL UPDATE Some great advice here! Let's clear some things up. They have always had separate bank accounts. They do not join money and never have specifically because of how she spends money. They both work and put in a
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 08
    percentage of how much they earn into the home. She does not have access to his money and will not be able to clean it out in the 2 weeks. I know for a fact he keeps a very close eye on the credit cards, while we were away and she was buying unnecessary things like clothing, she made sure to only use her card, not the credit. She says he will question her about it aince they're trying to pay off the house and save for the trip to bali. We are in Australia, and laws are different. Things will mor
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 09
    Greg can't quickly fly or drive back from work. It's a 13- hour drive one way and $600 plane fair. He is FIFO and can not leave until R&R begins. While we all live in the same state, Australia is pretty d n big. She told me directly, she would want the kids to be 50/50, Anna has never liked kids and while she loves her own, I think the thought of having them full time sounds like a walking nightmare to her.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 10
    The person she is having an affair with has lunch with her locally sometimes while she is on lunch break from work, they have run into acquaintances multiple times. He comes for family dinner twice a week. The kids have caught Anna sitting on his lap before while Darren is not home. He comes over when Darren is on nightshift, while the kids are in the home. Anna has apparently been able to cover up by telling the kids she does his in ions and that it's private, so she administered
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 11
    s and them behind a locked doors. He is also on r she is a nurse. Darren did ask if I though she was cheating back in January due to her s drive suddenly becoming very heightened, at the time I thought it was because of a recent surgery she had. I don't think it will be too hard to convince him and I'd say he has an inkling already as Anna has said over the past few months he has become possessive and jealous. (For obviously reasons)
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 12
    The family trip planned in October is with another family friend and their family for the husbands 40th birthday. The have split activities, accommodation etc I think. We do need to keep in mind that Darren may chose to stay and work it out. In this case, Greg and I will be put in a very awkward position and possibly be removed from the group. Which I am ok with but a little bit disheartened at the thought of losing people I've spent the last 20 years with.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 13
    We have moved the meet up to the day Greg flies in Tuesday. If he was flying home sooner, it would have been done sooner. While it's s s I've had to sit on the info Guys, by the time we confront him I will have been told exactly 2 weeks and 3 days. Greg and I agree, In person will be best for this particular friend.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 14
    mebysical 23 hr. ago She doesn't want to tell him because they have an overseas trip coming up? Likely a trip he's paying for, and she wants to leech off him?? Tell him.
    via u/mebysical
  • 15
    ApprehensiveTie1931 OP 22 hr. ago • We will.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 16
    maroongrad 21 hr. ago He will want to sell her tickets and cancel reservations; the sooner he knows, likely the less money he'll lose. I put this up above but he needs to freeze his credit immediately, and contact any credit card companies to cancel cards and get an update on
    via u/maroongrad
  • 17
    money she's spent (either running up the bill now, or spending on her AP). Same with bank accounts, college savings accounts for the kids, you name it. Her money train is about to derail, unless she's stupid she's going to try and get every penny out that she can.
    via u/maroongrad
  • 18
    Comprehensive_Value 23 hr. ago • She's p at me for the betrayal". cheater mad for betrayal. The irony. Also not asking for separation because of a trip? What will happen after the trip. YWTA if you don't Darren immediately.
    via u/Comprehensive_Value
  • 19
    ApprehensiveTie1931 OP 23 hr. ago Shes greedy and selfish I suppose
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 20
    Ok_Young1709. 22 hr. ago You shouldn't have told her that you told your partner. Now she can do damage control and make you both seem like liars. You do need to tell him sooner or you'll lose him as a friend potentially.
    via u/Ok_Young1709
  • 21
    ApprehensiveTie1931 OP 22 hr. ago I have messages as evidence.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 22
    Ok Young1709 22 hr. ago Ok that's good at least, but she still will likely try to lie and say she was joking or whatever. Can you not tell him on your own sooner?
    via u/Ok_Young170
  • 23
    ApprehensiveTie1931 OP 22 hr. ago I possibly could. It's kinda of scary. The whole situation has me feeling sick. It will have a ripple effect on so many people.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 24
    dangerclosemaybe 23 hr. ago YTA if you don't tell Darren immediately. I'd drop Anna as a friend too.
    via u/dangerclosemaybe
  • 25
    The Ghost_Reborn 23 hr. ago • We want to tell Darren about her affair in 2 weeks Why are you waiting?
    via u/The_Ghost_Reborn
  • 26
    ApprehensiveTie1931 OP 23 hr. ago Because my partner who is good mates with Darren works away, he is back in two weeks, he feels like its a conversation that needs to happen in person, particularly if Darren gets angry or really upset, my partner wants to be there for him.
    via u/ApprehensiveTie1931
  • 27
    Relevant Demand7593 · 22 hr. ago NTA, but tell him now - don't make him wait two weeks. Hopefully he can take a nice holiday without. Anna!
    via u/Relevant_Demand7593

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friendship loyalty family drama marriage brand loyalty entitlement askreddit marriage-drama honesty entitled people karma dishonest Reddit rock solid friendship friendship games entitled people
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